If you are just now following this project, let me encourage you to read the other posts to find out more about it…

Truth #4: The desert needs rain.

I would smile the first few times that I heard, “You have NO IDEA how much I needed that.” But as I got further down my list, these words made me sadder and sadder. I had no idea how many people in my list needed a genuine word of encouragement like the desert needs rain. How can we be MORE connected than ever, but feel SOO lonely and SOO insignificant and SOO down?

Meaningful relationships, not ‘influences’, are the ones that give us the strength to keep going. As I was going through my list, there were many names I arrived at who were significant to me. I noticed something interesting. MOST of them live close to me or spend lots of time with me. They frequently sacrifice their time and space for me. They show up at my kid’s events for no reason other than my kid is there. They bring dinner to my house when they know I’m exhausted. They pick up my kids on a crazy day. They are just THERE for me. These are the ones that lift me the MOST when I am down.

Why is this? PHYSICAL Proximity matters. I’m afraid in our freedom to connect digitally, we’ve lost our sense of physical community connections. Our digital community helps us find ‘friends like us’, but our physical community is made up of so much more. Physical community often requires us to overcome differences to love one another. This effort adds a higher value to the friendship. It is the kind of friendship that requires sacrifice. Your physical community exists of the people who live within a close proximity to your daily life. You see them many times a week. You see them in multiple places, like school events, church, work and community barbeques. They can show up for you on a moment’s notice because you would do that for them. Everyone needs a close physical network of people who love you even though they have seen your life without filters. I believe a certain network station running Christmas love stories repeating the same small town community theme over and over is practically banking on that knowledge.

The recent pandemic has really emphasized the mental health value of physical proximity with our community. With the pandemic, it is hard to meet new people, but we CAN do things to remind others that we are still physically there for them: a card in the mail, a meal dropped by, or an errand run. Do something for someone NEXT DOOR to you. It is nice to have a digital community, but there is nothing like knowing your NEIGHBOR is there for you. It makes you feel safe and supported.

Growing up, my parents had a fun little saying. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. While I spilled words of kindness digitally, this exercise taught me the value of action over words. Get off social media and be rain in a world gone dry. You are not ‘influencing’ anyone here MORE than you could be changing the world at your neighbor’s door.